Exercise

Glow Up

I’m a crusty nerd. I was. Or I’m trying not to be.

I was inspired a few months ago by Nikita Sass on TikTok (yea China’s got my by the gooch). He plays a ‘Russian sugar baby’ character, but he comes from humble nerdy origins. I’m not saying I’ve ever looked like this, but learning little tricks to glow up has been foundational to maintaining an heir of cunty self-satisfaction. I’m not alone, either. One of my friends, Nick, had a massive glow up. It’s sickening. And I can’t have him upstaging me next time we meet up in person. So for my (and whoever’s) reference I’ve compiled all of the little tips and tricks I’ve learned to not look like an anthropomorphized toe. I’m not promising you’ll look like Zach Willmore afterwards, but damn if we’re not going to try.